my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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