we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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