Banned from zoo.
Again?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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