If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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