She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
