The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We got so high we made milksteak
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
