why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
operation have a gay friend backfired
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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