My liver just broke up with me...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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