It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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