the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
