Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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