she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
