Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is this the sara with the beer cane?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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