apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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