It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
