I heard we made out
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize