when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
