Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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