You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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