Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
