Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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