Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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