Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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