Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
