I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize