sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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