i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
