i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
