we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
