At least make sure they are 18
Why
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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