She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
