its not stalking. its research.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
