Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Shame - the story of my life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
