that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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