I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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