He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
