dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
