Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
