he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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