Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
