Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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