the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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