Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
