Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
