U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
