While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
