I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
