I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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