Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My ass is underappreciated
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
