It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and you said cock pushups were impossible
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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