my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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