you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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