He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
