No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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