in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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