Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
