i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i came on her dog
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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