How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
