i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I supernannyed him into submission
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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