we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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