don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
