Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He better not be in your backpack
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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