so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
