Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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