Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
