So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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