you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize