im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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