dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
