i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
