Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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