how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
