I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
