I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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